Jul 4, 2012
  1. Mike: Hmm, bummer, looks like your girlfriend didn't get the Chief of Staff job with the Speaker. Guess I don't have to buy a hat now.
  2. Dan: Hat? Oh, wedding? Pff, no. I put a lot of time in on Alice. I was deliberately late for work because I wanted her to believe she was more important to me than my job.
  3. Mike: Did she fall for that?
  4. Dan: I doubt it. But it's the thought that counts -- she appreciates the gesture of me trying to trick her into believing that.
  5. Mike: That is so romantic.
  6. Dan: Sadly, the beautiful thing we had faded. Very suddenly. _[waves phone]_ Eight minutes ago.
  7. Mike: So who's next? Which strategically useful woman will get to witness your two-hour morning skincare regime?

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