I’ve been reading Michael Moore’s new book, Dude, Where’s My Country?, and I’ve become convinced that you could win elections by a landslide if you just engaged in a little rebranding.
Most of politics has gotten so deep in left/right squabbles that we’ve ignored that most of the country actually agrees with the liberal point of view on most or many issues. What’s needed is a clean slate: someone who doesn’t seem elitist and doesn’t hold any attackable positions. I think this is why Schwarzenegger won by a landslide. So here’s my proposal:
We’re the Common Sense Party. We’re against political squabbling and the corrupt major parties, and for what’s just plain common sense to average Americans. We want to stop the infighting in Washington so that the government can do more for you, the people. It’s just common sense. Anyone who disagrees with us is probably part of the old political system and just wants your vote so they can sell it to special interests. (This has the added bonus of probably being true.)
We’re for severely cutting, if not eliminating, taxes on you, the average American. (We’ll pay for this by raising taxes on the rich and cutting wasteful government programs like the military, but we don’t have to tell you this.)
We’re for giving you increased benefits. You’re an American! You should get free health care, free education, free food, free room and board — whatever you need. This will save you money.
We’re for a strong economy. We’re going to lower the deficit and stop going to war with weird countries so that you get a good job and make more money.
We’re for strong environmental regulations, so that you have clean air to breathe and clean water to drink. We’re for strong corporate regulations, so that you don’t get your money stolen from swindlers like Enron again. We’re for safety regulations so you don’t die in a car crash or from some poisonous product.
We’re for personal freedom. Does it make sense to spend your money on preventing people from having an abortion? To go after pornographers and copyright infringers? To pay food and board for thousands of drug addicts? Rehab is much cheaper! Imprisonment is a waste of your money!
We’re for common-sense security. Does it make sense to attack Iraq and then spend $87 billion of your money rebuilding it? Does it make sense to slow you down at the airport when the terrorists had valid IDs and box cutters? Does it make sense to go on a war against terror when you’re far more likely to be killed in a car accident than in a terrorist attack?
We’re not with the tax-and-spend liberals or the tax-and-bomb conservatives. We’re the party for you and we do things that just plain make sense. Instead of hearing news from Washington about whatever little things they’ve decided to fight about this week, wouldn’t it be great if you could hear about the new things we’re doing to make you money? It’s time for real change in DC. It’s time for the common sense party.